Britch's PreNup - PreBroe Posturing

1) Matching belly button piercing thingees. Hers:"Broe" pendant, Mine:"ILU"

2) I'll always cook

3) I'll always do the dishes

4) I'll always say, "I love you" first

5) We tip a max of 8%, calculated on our beepers

6) We're always nice. Even to all the assholes

7) I close the bathroom door. No exceptions

8) I'm up at 8am. No later

9) She's up at 9am. No earlier

10) I limit sports to 4 hours a day

11) She goes to Laker games with me every once in a while

12) She doesn't change her fitness routine one fucking iota

13) We have sex 2x a week

14) I don't wear sunglasses much

15) She advices me on fashion

16) She makes her next album her best

17) I'm honest with her 99.99%

18) She doesn't stare at me too much

19) I stare at her constantly....what was I saying?

20) Fed-Ex is the best man

21) JAn is maid of honor

22) I limit my steroid intake. For obvious reason(s)

23) She stops constantly referring to me as "bloated"

24) I stop applying for a slot in "Dancing With The Reality TV Porn Stars" and "America's Biggest Loser: Joe Sweeney"

25) She goes on Leno. I go on Dave

26) I don't go Hollywood too soon. Maybe by the end of the month

27) I don't sell out for less than $100 million dollars